This week, I was asked to provide my insights to Boston Herald columnist, Darren Garnick for a feature article he was writing and that appeared Wednesday April 7th. He mentioned to me that a close relative recently lost her job, and to console her, some of her friends and relatives said, in Darren’s words, the most asinine things.
I gave the subject serious thought, because over the past 20 years, most of what I have done professionally has been to help people identify, pursue, and land meaningful jobs, through my books, presentations, and personal coaching services. And I must admit, what friends and family members say to those who have lost jobs is one subject I never contemplated.
No doubt, losing a loved one and losing a job are two of the most painful challenges we face in life. And isn’t it interestingly that, for most of us, we have a difficult time expressing the “right words” to say in a genuine effort to console someone we care about. So when Darren calls this the “Asinine Factor,” I think we must acknowledge that maybe it could be called the “Awkwardness Factor.”
So with a bit of humor, a bit of fear and anger, and a bit of awkwardness, here are the 13 things NOT to say to jobless friends – with a link provided at the end to the full article.
- This is the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Please kick me in the rear end again; I can’t get enough of this feeling.
- “Now you have an opportunity to try something new!”
Like ramen noodles or malt liquor?
- “At least you have your health.”
If I were dead, the job search would be much simpler.
- “Have you ever heard of a thing called Craigslist or Google or Monster?”
Already two steps ahead of you with my Internet machine.
- “Whenever God closes a door, he opens a window.”
He also drowns people (see Exodus 14:27).
- “Maybe you should write a book.”
About clueless things people ask the unemployed?
- “Well, you knew this was coming, right?”
Are you the one who tried to sell “I Told You So” T-shirts after Hurricane Katrina?
- “So, what are you going to do now?”
I dunno, maybe look for another job. Or some new friends.
- “What about the house? Are you going to lose it?”
This question is best saved for when the kids are around.
- “It’s their loss!”
Unfortunately, everyone is replaceable. Google “Nomar Garciaparra,” “Mo Vaughn” and “Pedro Martinez.”
- “Things can’t be that bad yet, because I don’t see you working at Wal-Mart.”
Too bad, because my blue smock would coordinate well with your white-collar snobbery.
- “You’re lucky you don’t live in this dreary West Virginia mining town, where unemployment is 475 percent!”
I’m also lucky I am not in 19th-century Ireland when there was a potato famine.
- “It wasn’t like you were making a lot of money anyway.”
Nope, that job was just for fun. My (spouse’s) job is the serious one!
Continue to laugh with us at our Facebook Page: I Ducking LOVE My Job
(Provided with permission from Darren Garnick)